Sunday, January 31, 2010

Beaches, Marvin the Martian, and other related topics

If you live in Upsala, and you want to lay on the beach in January, expect to make a loooong trip. That was my comment when I heard that some friends who are vacationing in the Dominican Republic said the weather is great but the trip took forever.

Of course you could lay on the beach right here in Upsala if you really wanted to. There are a couple of beaches in the township . . . as long as you don't mind scraping away a foot of snow, and wearing a parka over your swimsuit. Swimming is out of the question though, unless you bring an axe or chainsaw to hack through a couple feet of ice on the lake.

Speaking of warm, beachy places, one of my captains got a telemarketing offer for a free trip to the Bahamas last week. That isn't unusual in itself . . . the phone lines are clogged with scam artists offering something for nothing. The strange thing was that it came through his pager. I kid not. His pager went off, and out comes this message offering a free trip to the Bahamas. If I didn't firmly believe that it was a fluke, I'd say they've gone off the telemarketing deep end . . . except telemarketing is already way off the deep end.

Of course it could be a conspiracy. The telemarketers know that we all have caller ID, which gives us the option to ignore their calls rather than pick up. To avenge their plunging revenues, they've hacked into our paging system, and now have us firmly by the short hairs. Firefighters can't very well ignore their pagers.

Speaking of telemarketers, Phillip was bored the other day and answered one in his very best Marvin the Martian voice. Here's a rough rendition of how it went:

Telemarketer: Hello, could I please speak to Mr. Beebe?
Phillip: (very nasal and Martiany) He's not home. This is Marvin the Martian.
Telemarketer: Um, oh, I see . . .
Phillip: Are you calling about my Elludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? I ordered it months ago!
Telemarketer: Er, no, um . . .
Phillip: You make me very angry . . . very angry indeed.
Telemarketer: I think I've got the wrong number. 'Click.'

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Speaking of Marvin the Martian, you can get a truck load of useless (but fascinating) trivia about his origins and career here.

Wow. A whole, complete blog entry of nothingness. If we don't get a call out soon - even a cat in a tree (though we don't do cats), I fear the lengths my imagination will take me . . .

On a completely different and sobering note, child abductors have big imaginations too. My niece from Anchorage shared this news item through her facebook page. If they are doing this in Anchorage, they could do it anywhere. If you have kids or friends that have kids, pass the word around.

There. One useful piece of information in an otherwise barren outer space of blogspot drivel. I feel better.

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